Tony & Eswyl
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Page 3
Ie Ulpster Churnal ONLINE
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British Fart Tennis Championship
The inaugural British Fart Tennis Championships were held this year in Staffordshire, the event taking precedence over Wimbledon due to the insular nature of the 'All England' Championships.
The final was a keenly contested affair witnessed by a fascinated audience between Scotland's representative "Tony Stink" and England's own "Nick Smelly".
Tony's first ever appearance in the final was marked with a splendid start, and he led the first set 2 -
The new British Champion Nick Smelly is keen to play for the World Championship, which would require a play-
This would require some sort of sponsorship, due to the distance involved in such a match
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Magic! -
Yet more proof of the existence of magic emerged yesterday when ITV showed exclusive pictures of Sam, in good health, returned safe and sound to Summer Bay after two nights in the bush.
This is absolute proof that magic exists, "My bliddy son Adrian wished it with a bliddy wishbone last week", explained our science expert Mrs M. Spirit Bsc hons (probably)
Conclusive
Seeking confirmation, our reporter spoke to Adrian who agreed, "Yes, it's true", he said in a silly high pitched whine, "I wished for it alright ..........OUCH!," his face contorted in pain, "I bit my bliddy tongue" he said ruefully, "and that is totally conclusive proof, cos I said when I made my wish that if it came true I'd eat myself".
So it seems that the weight of evidence is firmly on the side of magic, with scientists in full agreement.