Tony & Eswyl

A spokesman, Mr W.W. Dubbleyew, for the lsraeli secret service `Mosad' admitted yesterday that one of its top ten most wanted terrorists had slipped through its fingers earlier this year.

Administration Error

In an out of character disclosure, the spokesman said that 'Nikos the Skilos' had been detained by security officers at Ben Gurion Airport, Tel Aviv, under the pretext of an airline strike, but due to an administrative error had been flown by El-Al to the hijack capital of the world, Athens. Nikos was then known to have switched to an Olympic Airlines flight in a clever evasive move, backtracking as far as Cyprus where Mosad lost track of him.

Conflicts

Nikos is said to be second only to Abu Nidal in Israelis most wanted list because of his , involvement in a very diverse series of conflicts worldwide. In 1974 he was in Cyprus when the military coup and ultimately the Turkish invasion took place. In 1980 the start of the Iran/Iraq war saw him in the Persian Gulf, and he was reported to be in Spain just days after the military

James Bond

Mosad, described him as a James Bond type character, devastatingly handsome (which apparently is a family trait), with a physique which belies his 26 years, impeccable taste, and drinks only brand Coke - shaken not stirred. His wife however described him as a Walter Mitty type character, balding with a beer gut, who goes around mumbling about a fierce and faithful hound called Godzuki. She did however concede that he did not look 26.


Further research at the Churnal has revealed that even Mosad were unaware of the extent of their error. We have documents which prove conclusively that Nick was in fact accompanied by the notorious and semi professional terrorist Trevor (nosy) Parker, who when interviewed by Churnal reporters said, "Hic. he's my very bestest friend in all the world. he helped me scare off some sharks last summer
..... and little kids."

When queried as to who he was talking about he answered, "What do you mean?, hic, are you calling me a poof?"

Hi readers, or "Kalamari" as they say here.

Having spent a week in sizzling Cyprus, I'll share my tips on how to prepare a traditional full Cypriot meze - good food with a hint of the Orient.

Firstly, bread and tashy is a must, that's must with a capital M. Greek bread is preferred but you can use French bread, pitta bread or even "Kingsmill" at a pinch.

The rest is easy, you simply rake out whatever you have in your cupboard, ideally as many courses as possible. To prepare a true Greek salad, I buy some Presto's coleslaw and add a dash of lemon, olive oil and a hint of coriander for that extra oomph. I defy anyone to tell it apart from one of Bambos' finest.

Next comes the fish course. The Cypriots generally serve squid and octopus. but I find

a tin of tuna or mackerel (which is cheaper) just as exotic and substantial. Add a touch of Lemon and coriander for an ideal flavour of Cyprus.

And now the meat, any chops and or steaks in the freezer can be used. Thread them onto a stick for that "kebab" feel and grill them till they're golden brown, adding just a touch of coriander and lemon. If you have any left over stefado or pagoura, now is the chance to use it all up.

If you don't have any haloumi, I find that if you grill cheddar until it reaches that sweaty stage an ideal substitute.

Finally, the Cypriots always finish a good meze with a coffee. It you don't know how to prepare a Greek coffee, take a small cup and heap five spoons of Maxwell House in, dilute with boiling water, who could tell the difference?.